When Should You Start Being Romantic In A New Relationship?

By: Amy Graybeal

“Romance” doesn’t have a set definition in today’s society. You can go out and ask 10 different people what it means and you’ll get 10 different answers. While some may consider flowers on the first date romantic, I’d say that they are more of a courtesy gesture. Flowers have the potential to be incredibly romantic when the feelings behind them are expressing love in your heart.

 

Romance isn’t just one action, or a present, or something you do on special occasions. Romance is expressing how your heart feels through actions. So, I would have to say start being romantic when you start loving your partner.

 

Given the evolving stages of a relationship, I would suggest expressing the different types of romance only after certain checkpoints. They are as follows:

1. Playful: after you’ve been dating for a little while. These ideas are fun and flirty and express a flutter in your heart.
2. Thoughtful: after you’ve gotten to know their likes and dislikes. These ideas are considerate and express a desire to make the other person happy.
3. Reconnecting: after you’re comfortable having long conversations together. These ideas are about getting to spend quality time together and express the desire to connect on a mental level.
4. Steamy: after you’ve begun a physical relationship. These ideas are sexual in nature and express a desire to connect with your partner physically.
5. Sentimental: after you’ve both expressed mutual love for each other and have a committed relationship. These ideas are based on relationship memories and partner attributes and express a deep love and respect between partners.

True romance is about conveying love – whether that be in a budding relationship or a marriage of several decades. When you’re first getting to know someone, I’d suggest just polite standard sentiments if you’re looking do something special. Bringing flowers, pulling out chairs, opening doors – that type of thing. Taking your date to a candlelit picnic under the stars has the potential to create an uncomfortable atmosphere. He/she may feel that you’re being fake or taking the relationship too fast. And it’s easy to think that given these special romantic gestures are supposed to represent your heart’s feelings.

 

Romance is so important in a relationship. It helps express how you’re feeling when words don’t seem to be enough. When you start attracting each other more and more and your feelings start moving into love, incorporate more romance. Use romance as a tool to communicate how you feel about your partner.

 

Amy is the Founder & President of Magic of Romance, Inc.  She attended the Business School at Georgia Tech and enjoys reading and making music.  She currently resides in Atlanta, GA with her husband and beautiful boxer Thelma.

By: Steve

I think you should start being romantic immediately if you are interested in more than just sex from your partner. Even if you don’t know where the relationship is headed, and unless you met her at a truckstop, then being romantic is classy, courteous, and respectful. If you are being genuine, that is.

 

Romance should come from the heart. It should manifest itself through courtesy, and class, but above all it comes from respect. And I think this should start immediately. There is a fine line between being romantic, and being creepy, or being gratuitous or insincere.

 

Should you be romantic on the first date? Well, if you are like me, and you cultivate relationships on many levels and aren’t just out there asking every woman you meet out on a date, then yes, romance should be a way of life and should begin on the first date, or sooner. It could well be THE reason for the first date.

 

Be wary of being fake, or plastic, or insincere though. Experience has taught me that women can sniff out an act, but they rarely call you on it. So take care to make sure that what you are doing is born of the right reasons. Your romance should be real, not just a means to get laid.

 

How best to show you care? Is it letters, flowers, candy, other things? That is up to you. If you LISTEN to your date, the inspiration for romantic gestures will be there. Holding and opening doors, getting chairs, and other gestures show that you are committed, engaged, courteous, caring, and respectful. And I believe that everyone wants to believe that they are important. No one wants to feel like they are an afterthought, distraction, or a “temp.”

 

Everyone is different and therefore expresses him or herself differently. I prefer little gestures above grand gift giving (that comes later). I like to give little gifts, and send postcards, and other gestures that I feel genuinely show that I care, and more importantly that I am thinking about that person when I am not with her. Things meant to make her feel special.

 

I like to receive said types of gestures as well. I like notes, little gifts that reflect time spent together and conversations we’ve had, MySpace comments, pictures, and other things that are cherished. I have plenty of watches, and I don’t want flowers. Buy me a book about one of my interests, and sign it with an endearing note. Or cook for me, that is the way to my heart. Make me feel special.

 

These are the things that I have learned over time work for me and make me feel good. Everyone is different though, so explore via trial and error what works for you, ask questions, listen, and make it your own.

 

Steve is in business development and sales for a publishing company in Tennessee.  He currently resides in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.  "I am single, never been married, and still practicing (and perfecting) the art of romance."